Courage

She couldn't figure out what went wrong. One minute, he was telling her he loved her and the next, she stares at an empty inbox in her phone. Ever since she last saw him, and drove away after their parting goodbye kiss, he barely acknowledged her. He used to wake her up with a good morning, and always end with a good night. Now… silence rings through the air as she catches her breath every time she checks her phone for messages.

Blank.

Check again.

Blank….

Her heart seizes a little. A little bit of the heart he helped her glue back together chips off and falls to the ground with a …. "clunk".

She puts her phone down on the table and tries to reassure herself that the next time she checks, he will in fact have remembered her and leave her an endearing, heart throbbing text. She wills herself to find something to do for another hour.

Check.

One new text message.

Her heart soars. What will the message be? How are you today babe? I miss you so much it hurts? I love you?

None of these.

"Hey".

What happened? What did she do wrong? Has he lost interest like he promised her he'd never do; to do exactly what her last boyfriend did to her? Why is he doing the exact thing he asked her to promise never to do; just randomly stop talking - exactly what his last ex-girlfriend did to him.  

What did she do wrong?

Tears roll down her face. Big, fat, salty tears of failure and confusion. She wants so dearly to find out once and for all what happened. She wants to call him and straight out ask him if he even still likes her. But maybe she's being paranoid. Maybe she's just being jealous and overprotective.

But why, if he had lost interest, would he not just come out and say it? Why would he put her through this misery of wondering and keep her clinging on?

Instead of asking him, she replys to the text as nicely as she can, making sure to word it just right so that he would have to respond without looking like an asshole for ending the conversation.

She puts the phone on her bedside, sits on the edge of her bed, and lets her head hang down. Warm tears flow from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks and dripping off her chin, staining the jeans, where they catch the salty unhappiness.

She prays for happiness.

She prays for an answer.

She prays for courage to be strong.